Interestingly, I have not been able to post regularly in this blog.
To put in bluntly, the reason I wrote this blog is because if something should happen to me, some part of our relationship would continue, and possibly aid in the grieving process.
But I guess, its hard to keep a journal based on this goal. The thought of death is not a topic that readily comes to us. Especially not me, at 30 years old, where I am supposed to be at the "peak" of my health (a contestable point). Perhaps all the more I should write here, as any passing at this point would be sudden and would probably cause a great shock to you.
Here is the ironic thing about death. Me dying suddenly at 30 would probably make a great impact in the lives of people left behind, and hopefully be a painless one, compared to if I were to die a long painful death at age 90. As Kurt Cobain famously put in his suicide letter "it's better to die than to fade away." Unfortunately the former would cause great pain and perhaps trauma to those left behind, and possibly you would probably cause less discomfort dying in old age.
Lately reflection of life after death is something that I think about, not with great apprehension but one of curiosity. Our religion says that we would be reunited after death, and I certainly hope to be reunited with you, my best friend. But ultimately there's a lingering doubt about the truth of religion and all, which defies all logical permutations. But I guess, faith is something that transcends logic, and with that, so is Love.
And I'm quite sure my love for you transcends logic.
